So you’re gonna be a Bruin. Congrats! Welcome to the school. One of the first things you will do as a new student is go to orientation. What will they probably be like? Here’s OTH’s guess:
1. The Overenthusiastic One
This kid will literally clap for every. damn. thing. S/he is just STOKED to be a BRUIN. Because dad went here and so did mom and oh my god did I forgot to mention John Wooden is my hero – yes wow I love UCLA, oh by the way where are you from? I’m from Westwood I moved here because we love UCLA but that’s another story wow look at Powell! I’m so excited to study there! You will, understandably, probably hate this kid. It’s okay. There are four other people, right?
2. The Overtly Cool Loner Kid
He listens to Bob Marley and smokes cigars. He’s not going to talk to you. When your adviser asks, “Hey, what’s your name?” He’ll reply with a low baritone “Andre”, and then look away. OTH wishes we could write more about him but he refuses to tell us anymore.
3. The Regular Kid
You’re a little nervous, but you’re also just a regular kid. You make a few friends; you ask some questions and you’re a little stressed out about enrollment, but really, you’re going to be fine. Adjustment to college life and all of the news of UCLA are a little daunting, but you look forward to adjusting and making some new friends.
4. The Overachiever
He or she has done literally everything you have, but two times better. Got a 2400 on your SAT? They scored 2400 on their SAT, got all 5’s on 15 AP exams, had a smoking hot date for prom, and they’ve won every science fair, literary competition known to high schoolers around the world. You will be a little jealous. You will be in a bit of an awe. And you will write down their phone number so when they become successful, he or she will buy you dinner.
5. The Funny Kid
This kid is funny. He’ll have your advisor cracking up. You’ll be in tears and even the cool loner kid will smile at his jokes. Be friends with this person. They will make your Bruin life incredibly entertaining.
So, without further adue, these are the 5 people you will meet at orientation. Get out there and have fun!
by Jerry Cheung