Hey bud, friend. How are you doing? Yeah, no, they won’t be coming; they’re on vacation in the Bahamas right now, yes. So your parents aren’t coming to parents weekend. How can that be possible? It’s called parent’s weekend for a reason, we protest. But, unfortunately, you won’t be able to show off your new roommate who speaks four languages and plays guitar. And no, you won’t be able to complain about your other roommate who leaves the light on and never remembers to clean up after her take out. But that’s okay because you have swipes.
You’re probably thinking. What? Why does that matter? Here’s why it matters: I’m here for you. No, really. I’m a 3rd year, and I’m practically 20, and I’ve been through 3 parents’ weekends. This will be the first parents’ weekend I don’t pound butter beers and stagger tearfully around bruinwalk to a slow guitar in the night. I’m here to listen to your problems, if you swipe me. Just kidding.
In all seriousness, one of the greatest upsides of being a freshman or sophomore or just a person living on the hill is the convenient access you have to meals, which is a luxury those in the apartments quite literally drool for. And though your parents won’t be here to indulge in the dining halls with you, just remember: at least you have 19p.