How to Survive the Apocalypse (Finals Week)


Finals week is coming up. Since UCLA is tight knit and a big community, I guess we could say we’re one big wolf pack. And finals week is kind of like the moon that comes every 10 weeks that transforms us into werewolves. But this metaphor doesn’t really make that much sense because we’re more like zombies than we are werewolves during finals week. Sorry. It’s finals week for me too. I’ve prepared my fort and 3 weeks worth of instant ramen, but before I go into hiding, I have some tips for you all to survive (hopefully).

1. Stock up on frozen food.

This is especially relevant if you live in the apartments or if you live On The Hill but you have a final at an unearthly hour like 8am. You don’t wanna be waiting for the water to boil for your spaghetti when you have two finals the next day. Get some hot pockets and salad. If you feel a little fancier, Trader Joe’s has a pretty awesome selection of frozen food.

2. Have a cheat hour

It may be finals week, but you still need to rest. Have one hour each day where you can do whatever you want. This can be very fun if you can get your roommates or friends in on this, as you find yourselves on some sleep-deprived, coffee-driven adventures that only happen finals week. It’s bonding time!

3. Pick up some Advil and Vitamin C

You don’t want to be caught sick during finals week. Stock up on medicine now, so that if it happens (which sadly happens because you’re stressed out and your body goes crazy), you’ll be prepared. In any case, start watching your sleeping habits and make sure you’re eating healthy so your body is in tiptop condition.

4. Take up a Farmer’s Sleep Schedule

We’re not really sure if farmers actually really sleep like this, but it’s a catchy header. What we really mean is convincing your roommates to start sleeping at 9PM and waking up at 6AM to study. You’ll get more productive early in the morning, and feel really good about waking up to the sun instead of being woken up by it..

So here are our tips. Go ham. Get A’s. Unless you’re in my graded-on-a-curve-class, in which case, don’t study. The French say C’est La Vie! Enjoy the world, YOLO. What’s the point of this capitalist meritocracy-oriented institution anyways?  You’re better off on the beach… especially particularly on March 13th at 8AM in Boelter 3159.. 🙂

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