So, you’re way too lazy to design a costume for Halloween, but you need one to get into a party. And your friend Ben won’t let you use his. Okay. It’s cool. You’re cool. You have some options.
1. Paper bag
You’re a paper bag. You’re a bag that floats in the wind, ya know. You’re transient and chic and environmentally friendly because you recycle. For extra cool points, use a bag from Whole Foods so people think you’re classy.
2. Birthday Kid
This is a special privilege if you’re the birthday kid, or pretending to be. You don’t need a costume cause it’s your special day. When they ask to see proof, tell them you forgot your ID at home, but you’d like some reese’s pieces please.
Just put on a red polo shirt and some baggy khaki pants with brown shoes. And boom. You’re a Target employee. Walk into Target and try to ask for candy, maybe they’ll credit you for your ingenuity.
Wear all black and tape some sharp pieces of white paper as your fangs. Get a bottle of fruit punch gatorade from your local 7’11s and proceed to drip it strategically over your white dress shirt so you look like you’ve had some blood.