We sat down for an interview with the Boss Squirrel, head of operations at UCLA or Yukuhla to see what he has been up to as of late. Here it is:
So, you clearly enjoy eating human scraps. What do you enjoy nibblin’ on and why?
I like pizza at 10 PM from Late Night. I also like the boba Hedrick dining’s been throwin’ out recently. I like me some macadamias occasionally.
How do you find the courage to steal food from humans? They must be mighty big and scary.
Well, ya see. I’m the boss squirrel, you naw’ I’m sayin. I got me a group of minions who get the food for me while I just chill in our crib. Ya’ gotta work your way up. All these lil squirrels — they trynna be me. I’m like the queen bee, but the boss squirrel.
Where is your “crib”, Boss Squirrel?
That’s top secret. What you tryna do? Kill the squirrel squad at Yukuhla? We’re the people that make the school run proper.
W-we understand. Sorry. Please don’t take my Rende..
Alright, alright chill buddy. We won’t take your food. You can eat your take-out in peace.
Note: At this point, the interviewer in context (to be unidentified) runs away in fear. We have no further recordings of this said interview. Please contact us at ORL iMedia (310) 206-9876 if you have identified the whereabouts of our interviewer’s food. He starves in despair.